Monday, March 10, 2008
men rule
At last> a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story.> (I must admit, it's pretty good.)> We always hear "the rules"> From the female side.> Now here are the rules from the male side.> These are our rules!> Please note.. these are all> numbered "1"> ON PURPOSE!> 1. Men ARE not mind readers.> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.> We need it up, you need it down.> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.> > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon> or the changing of the tides.> Let it be.> > 1.> Shopping is NOT a sport.> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.> > 1. Crying is> blackmail.> > 1. Ask for what you want.> Let us be clear on this one:> Subtle hints do not work!> Strong hints do not work!> Obvious hints do not work!> Just say it!> > color=red size=7>> 1. Yes and No are> perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.> > 1. Come to us> with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a color=red size=7> problem. See a doctor.> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret> girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.> Don't ask us.> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted> two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one> > 1. You can either ask us to do> something> Or tell us how you want it done.> Not both.> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.> > 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.> > 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows> default settings.> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.> > 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.> We do> that.> > 1. If we ask what is> wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,> or golf.> > 1. You have enough clothes.> > 1. You have too many> shoes.> > 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!> > 1. Thank you for reading this.> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.>
scorpio ppl's year according to astrology
~~~all about scurp~~~
OVERVIEW: With overflowing passion in all areas of life, you enjoy sharing, learning and developing your wonderful communication skills. Your ability to offer compassion and emotional sensitivity will help you connect to others, indirectly benefiting your home and career. You strive to get to the roots of issues, and develop intelligent and direct conversations. As you have a strong awareness of your own philosophical and spiritual inner world, you benefit greatly from private exploration of these concepts.
Being a more introspective, and focusing more on alone time instead of the outer world, will help you gather in some of your passionate energy and recharge your inner needs. You will become more interested in visionary ideas, and this will help you to use your latent creativity. Your desire for security is strongly connected with quality material possessions, and how much money you have. Your earning ability will dramatically increase, which will provide for enough left over both to enjoy life and put aside savings.
Your dreams of creating a perfect home sanctuary will come true. Many of your deep desires to make changes in your outer world will draw the attention of others. Your abundant optimism will attract great benefits and resources. You could spend time creating visions for large groups of people and helping them achieve their highest dreams. This will create a new sense of self-worth in them, and in you as well. Your optimism in your love partnership could lead to interesting and exotic travel plans. You love the feeling aliveness and vibrancy travel and spontaneity bring to your life.
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CAREER: You are strongly determined to succeed and to complete your creative projects. Inner desires will serve both your career and your higher visions in life. Your responsibility, this year, is to find a profession that utilizes and lines up with your own personal ideals. You feel very fortunate that you have a job, and it will be very important that you get both recognition and be allowed to express your passion and interests. You are motivated to start new projects and keep your job lively and interesting. You're not afraid of hard work when you know that you have an important goal to fulfill.
Direct your energies towards understanding and learning from experiences of those from different walks of life than yours. It will be important for you to be conscious of being more of a team player, while working any through problems that may arise. Get a good grip on things before acting and be aware to not want to jump to conclusions. Others count on your deep insight, clarity and awareness of what's going on, as well as your ability to be able to communicate clearly. You have a natural talent to see other points of view, and don't miss a beat when it comes to expressing yourself. You have the great talent of a dramatic actor, which you could no doubt use to great effect when you want to get your way. Your performances will make you an asset in social situations this year.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOVE: You will enjoy the classic romance of moonlight walks and candlelit dinners with your partner, this year. Having a committed relationship also filled with love and passion is one of your primary desires, and fulfills your emotional and erotic nature. You like the idea of having family and children. Take advantage of your desires to settle down and freely give of yourself to others. Home is very important, and you thrive on a need to have inner peace and family security.
Your intuition and idealism in your approach to love makes you feel quite attracted and excited about nurturing all the energy you are feeling. Love comes easily to you, this year, through charm and finesse. You can be in tune with your partner more than they can ever realize. You may also know things that he or she may not want to be revealed to you because of your tremendous psychic abilities, and strong instincts for distinguishing truth from fiction. For you to feel loved, nurtured and passionately cared for is a must.
You will become quite moody if others aren't sensitive to your deeper needs. At times you may feel hurt by your partner, and may go deep within and find a creative and spiritual resource instead of immediately lashing out. This will help you process your emotions until you can communicate exactly what you need to. Your deep emotions will require that you are understood: you know what you want and what is important to you. You will require others to understand you before you care to share with them your most intimate secrets.
OVERVIEW: With overflowing passion in all areas of life, you enjoy sharing, learning and developing your wonderful communication skills. Your ability to offer compassion and emotional sensitivity will help you connect to others, indirectly benefiting your home and career. You strive to get to the roots of issues, and develop intelligent and direct conversations. As you have a strong awareness of your own philosophical and spiritual inner world, you benefit greatly from private exploration of these concepts.
Being a more introspective, and focusing more on alone time instead of the outer world, will help you gather in some of your passionate energy and recharge your inner needs. You will become more interested in visionary ideas, and this will help you to use your latent creativity. Your desire for security is strongly connected with quality material possessions, and how much money you have. Your earning ability will dramatically increase, which will provide for enough left over both to enjoy life and put aside savings.
Your dreams of creating a perfect home sanctuary will come true. Many of your deep desires to make changes in your outer world will draw the attention of others. Your abundant optimism will attract great benefits and resources. You could spend time creating visions for large groups of people and helping them achieve their highest dreams. This will create a new sense of self-worth in them, and in you as well. Your optimism in your love partnership could lead to interesting and exotic travel plans. You love the feeling aliveness and vibrancy travel and spontaneity bring to your life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CAREER: You are strongly determined to succeed and to complete your creative projects. Inner desires will serve both your career and your higher visions in life. Your responsibility, this year, is to find a profession that utilizes and lines up with your own personal ideals. You feel very fortunate that you have a job, and it will be very important that you get both recognition and be allowed to express your passion and interests. You are motivated to start new projects and keep your job lively and interesting. You're not afraid of hard work when you know that you have an important goal to fulfill.
Direct your energies towards understanding and learning from experiences of those from different walks of life than yours. It will be important for you to be conscious of being more of a team player, while working any through problems that may arise. Get a good grip on things before acting and be aware to not want to jump to conclusions. Others count on your deep insight, clarity and awareness of what's going on, as well as your ability to be able to communicate clearly. You have a natural talent to see other points of view, and don't miss a beat when it comes to expressing yourself. You have the great talent of a dramatic actor, which you could no doubt use to great effect when you want to get your way. Your performances will make you an asset in social situations this year.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOVE: You will enjoy the classic romance of moonlight walks and candlelit dinners with your partner, this year. Having a committed relationship also filled with love and passion is one of your primary desires, and fulfills your emotional and erotic nature. You like the idea of having family and children. Take advantage of your desires to settle down and freely give of yourself to others. Home is very important, and you thrive on a need to have inner peace and family security.
Your intuition and idealism in your approach to love makes you feel quite attracted and excited about nurturing all the energy you are feeling. Love comes easily to you, this year, through charm and finesse. You can be in tune with your partner more than they can ever realize. You may also know things that he or she may not want to be revealed to you because of your tremendous psychic abilities, and strong instincts for distinguishing truth from fiction. For you to feel loved, nurtured and passionately cared for is a must.
You will become quite moody if others aren't sensitive to your deeper needs. At times you may feel hurt by your partner, and may go deep within and find a creative and spiritual resource instead of immediately lashing out. This will help you process your emotions until you can communicate exactly what you need to. Your deep emotions will require that you are understood: you know what you want and what is important to you. You will require others to understand you before you care to share with them your most intimate secrets.
thank GODi'm a woman
I'M GLAD I'M A WOMAN (NO, A MAN))
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am.I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam.I don't brag to my buddies about my erections.I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions.
I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown.And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down!I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt.My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut.
And I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch,or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch.I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind.I'm a woman you see-I'm just not that kind!
I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing.I don't have body hair like shag carpeting.It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back.When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack.
And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb.I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome. Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side.I'm a woman, you know-I've got far too much pride!
And I honestly think its a privilege for me,to have these two boobs and sit down when I pee.I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball.I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.
I won't tell you my wife just does not understand,or stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band.Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep,then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!
Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a woman, you see.Forget all about that old penis envy. I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks.Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick.
I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful, it's true.I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am.I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam.I don't brag to my buddies about my erections.I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions.
I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown.And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down!I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt.My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut.
And I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch,or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch.I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind.I'm a woman you see-I'm just not that kind!
I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing.I don't have body hair like shag carpeting.It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back.When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack.
And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb.I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome. Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side.I'm a woman, you know-I've got far too much pride!
And I honestly think its a privilege for me,to have these two boobs and sit down when I pee.I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball.I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.
I won't tell you my wife just does not understand,or stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band.Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep,then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!
Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a woman, you see.Forget all about that old penis envy. I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks.Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick.
I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful, it's true.I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!
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