BLONDE JOKES

BlondeQ&A Did you hear about the blonde who...
A blonde goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband." "Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk. "No," replied the blonde, "the kind for under his arms."
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A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.Cop: "Do you know where you were going?"Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving."
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This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"
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Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.Blonde#1: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"Blonde#2: "Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!"
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Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia...
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A blonde's response to the comment "Think about it!" - "I don't have to think, I'm blonde!"
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A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just don't remember who with.
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Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this the other blonde replied "I know it and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."
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Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:Blonde: "We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb."Operator: "Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?"Blonde: "Yes."Operator: "The power in the house in on?"Blonde: "Of course."Operator: "And the switch is on?"Blonde: "Yes, yes."Operator: "And the bulb still won't light up?"Blonde: "No, it's working fine."Operator: "Then what's the problem?"Blonde: "We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves. "
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?"
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
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Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children.
1st brunette: "I just know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was on my back".
2nd brunette: "Mine's going to be a boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception".
Blonde: "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!"
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A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively "How do you give shoulders?"
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Teller: "Why did the blonde move to L.A.?"Blonde: "I don't know. Why?"Teller: "It was easier to spell."Blonde: "Easier than what?"
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A blonde and a brunette are sky-diving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord - nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
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A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "Oh, well!" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home she drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
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A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up and says "Where?"
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I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to cook them.
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What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.
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A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it and yelled out "Green side up!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "Green side up!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "Green side up!" The lady asked him "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply, "but I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
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A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
Cop: "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
Blonde: "Driver's licence? What's that?..."
Cop: "It's a little card with your picture on it."
Blonde: "Oh, duh! Here it is..."
Cop: "May I have your car insurance?"
Blonde: "What's that?..."
Cop: "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."
Blonde: "Oh, this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde exclaims:"Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"
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A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends.
Brunette: Last night I had three orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing, last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: (shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.

instigator by kaci brown

Dark mascara on my eyes and I've gotMy black shirt and my jeans fittin' just rightVal and I gonna kick it tonight likeDum dum dum - dum dum dumLeave the house in the car goin' to the clubSlide through the doors give my girl a good luckGonna scan the floor to find myself my first studDum dum dum - dum dum dum
[chorus]I'm an in I'm an instigatorIs that your boy? Girl we'll see you later!I'm a tra- I'm a trouble makerOne boy - two boys - three boys - and I...I'm an in I'm an instigatorAnd if he's cute then I'll take the waiter!I'm a bum I'm a bum bum shakerOne boy - two boys - three boys - and I...
All the girls here seem to have an attitudeBut there ain't no stoppin' me - I'm in a party mood2am and the bass still kicks likeDum dum dum - dum dum dumMy girl Val's hittin' it with the bad boysAnd I'm shake - shakin' it with the shy boysAnd we won't leave till we've had all the hot boysDum dum dum - dum dum dum
[chorus]
[rap]
[chorus]

friendship day

Friendship Day HistoryThe National Friendship Day is celebrated every year on the first Sunday in August. There is not much history that can be garnered for this day except the fact that the US Congress proclaimed this day as the Friendship Day in the year 1935."Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7“Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13-15Thus speaks The Bible about the warmest of all bonds—friendship. The Bible, the most primary text of the western civilization, reflects upon friendship as the bond that forms the foundation to human faith, trust and companionship. There are innumerable tales from the Old Testament as well as the New Testament about the value of friendship and how true friendship is a treasure to unearth. Both the versions make a difference between the two broad meanings of friendship—one is a mere acquaintance, the other is a more affectionate relation. These stories and examples have passed into western literary and cultural realms. In the Old Testament Abraham is called the “friend of God” because of the intimacy of his relations. God speaks to Moses face to face “as a man…unto his friend” (Ex 33:11). The romantic friendship of Ruth and Naomi, the devotion of the subordinate Hushai for David, or the mutual relation between David and Jonathan—the Old Testament is replete with these interesting tales of friendship.In the New Testament, the relationship between Jesus and his disciples is the most primal example of how human friendship can constantly grow. From being teacher and disciple to lord and servant their relationship finally grew to an unparalleled friendship.Friendship Day Celebrationcelebration was a way of life then Friendship Day celebration would be its most myriad expression. Trust, support, loyalty, understanding, empathy, intimacy, conflict, anger—there are more emotions to this bond than words would allow. Each moment spent with a friend is a moment added to time—moments that give us in turn an understanding of who we are, why we exist, what our purpose is in living. The insight is an enriching experience of recognizing how friendship can be the means and ends to our lives. Friendship Day celebrates this outstanding bond of human kind. Celebration of friendship is knowing this marvel that we call by so many names—chums, pals, buddies, mates ! They come in many sizes, shapes and guises. From school pals to work colleagues, from siblings to partners, parents to pets to neighbors to internet friends—let the feeling grow manifolds to the appreciation of this alliance.Friendship Day is the perfect chance to let your friends know how much they are needed and prized. Of course the best way to go about it is to be a fantastic favorable friend yourself. So let your emotions loose ! Write a poem, send a card, shower them with flowers, load them with gifts or simply set up a Friendship Day party—there can be as many ways to celebrate Friendship Day as you can imagine. There can be ideas galore for your Friendship Day celebration. So go ahead. Feel happily lost in this warm surge. Friendship Day Party IdeasWhen friends are around and you’re all perked up to celebrate Friendship Day at full tilt, what’s a better way to do it other than throw a Friendship Day party ? So decide where to party, how to party, what to include in menu, what to play on the jukebox so on and so forth. Once that’s done, call up your buddies and just have your fling !Now here are some Friendship Day party ideas for you to check out: First things first. Why not get the fun on with some funky invitation cards for your Friendship Day party ? Consider designing them with a funny cartoon, a few good jokes, and some nice quotes or with your own signature message straight from the heart. Make it as colorful and attractive as possible so that your cool pals can’t wait to drop in at your Friendship Day party ! Next decide the nature of your Friendship Day party. If it’s a day-party, your planning would be a little different from an overnight Friendship Day party, right ? To party through the day, a special Friendship Day cookout at your backyard is always a good idea, especially when it’s the season for the sizzling barbecues, cool lemonades and yummy hotdogs ! Picnicking would be yet another sprightly thought for your Friendship Day party, this again if you’re planning to party daytime. Fill up the picnic hamper with games and goodies and check out how wild ‘wild’ can be when friends are around ! Now if you prefer to party through the night, a Friendship Day dinner party is quite a smart thought to sweep your buds over. Hit your favorite joint with the entire gang, order what you enjoy the best and romp and chomp your way to a total upbeat and zesty fun-time on Friendship Day. Yet another starry idea for the party-freaks of the night is a sleepover party on Friendship Day. It’s quite popular with the kids, but the big ones enjoy it just as much. Or you can also invite your friends for a stargazing party this Friendship Day. For all those, who haven’t experienced what it is to lie under the starry night-sky and watch the stars with people you hold close, it’s definitely a top to-do thing, if not a must ! Once the kind of your Friendship Day party is fixed, start deciding on the menu. Cook up some lip-smacking delicacies this Friendship Day, or you can do it all together having assigned specific tasks to the specific pal-ly heads. Things done together are sometimes quite a thrill ! Try it out for once. Rent out some movies which give you all a special high. Be it a thriller or a sweet lovey-dovey romantic flick, your Friendship Day should be in sync with what you all enjoy. If your bunch fancy sports and games, plan up your Friendship Day party accordingly. Settle for an outdoor match or arrange for some fun indoor games. Announcing prizes for every participant witnesses a high rate of participation for obvious reasons. Who doesn’t like to be prized ? Of course we all do. But whoever wins or loses, you’re going to win hearts for sure!Games, grub alright. But don’t you think the Friendship Day party stays incomplete if you fail to grip your buds in the right rhythm ? So select the music with care. Decide what scores to play on your Friendship Day party. Soft numbers or fast beats ? The golden oldies or some new melodies off the racks ? You decide. It’s your party. Your friends. You will know the best. Keep the camera ready and keep capturing the precious moments on your Friendship Day party. You may not know the value of these pictures right now, but as the years pass, you’ll treasure them like never before ! Last but not the least, bind your buds in the friendship bond with the friendship bands. You can pick them up from the stores, or make them yourself. Many colorful friendship bands hit the stores much ahead of Friendship Day. Instead of the conventional wristbands, you can go for the friendship bracelets for your women friends. Give them these nice tokens of your love as you wish them all a ‘Happy Friendship Day’ in your Friendship Day party. Now that all’s set for a grand fling, let your Friendship Day party kick off on a merry high with lots of food, fun, music, smiles and warmth ! Enjoy the wonderful togetherness this Friendship Day and party your tails off !

usama bin laden

usama bin laden is the most powerful terrorist in the world. Millions, trillions of ppl lost their love ones because of his groups spread in the world. He not only kill non-Muslims but many times Muslims too, the innocent ones. He and his groups always amaze the world with their ideas. I remember once there was a bomb in a yummy "cheese". Damn that idea was unique! But I don't give a crap to his ideas
Kids in k.g also know his name and well aware of the things he does. He is famous all over the world. Behind all that there is one thing that I like about him, that made me to write this all..............that is " whole world is behind him , the most intelligent and excellent officers are searching him but naa aa baby, nobody knows where the heck is he! " Damn I love "hide n seek "=p

lip gloss by lil mama

LIL MAMA LYRICS
Lip Gloss
Lil mamaYeah it's poppin, it's poppin, it's poppin, it's poppin.I gotta ask 'em, 'cause if i don'tIt's poppin, it's poppin, it's poppin, it's poppin
[Hook:]What you know 'bout me?What youWhat youWhat you know 'bout me?What you know 'bout me?What youWhat youWhat you know?They say my lip gloss is coolMy lip gloss be poppingI'm standing at my lockerAnd all the boys keep stoppingWhat you know 'bout me?What youWhat youWhat you know 'bout me?What you know 'bout me?What youWhat youWhat you know?They say my lip gloss is poppingMy lip gloss is coolAll the boys keep jockingThey chase me after school
[Verse 1:]Mac mac Lorial yep 'cause I'm worth itLove the way I put it on so perfectWipe the corners of my mouth so I work itWhen I walk down the hallway they can't say nothingOh oh oh my lips so lusciousThe way I spice it up with the mac mac brushesLorial got the most watermelon crushesThat's probably the reason all these boys got crushes.
[Hook]
[Verse 2:]When it's time for lunchMy lips still rockLil mama melon with the hot pink topCherry, vanilla,Flavors is a virtual theyLoving, lip gloss universalThey boys really like it the girls don't speakThey rolling they eyesThey lip gloss cheapIt ain't my faultBut I upgrade yaShow you how to use nice things with nice flavors
[Hook]
[Breakdown:]'Cause My lip glossIs popping is poppingIs popping is popping'Cause my lip glossIs popping is poppingIs popping is popping
[Verse 3:]sittin' in 8th periodThought I was in troubleDean called me on the loudspeaker on the doubleI stepped in her office like"Yes Ms. McClarkson?""She like girl ran out of my lip gloss andWrite down where you get yours from'Cause I must admitThat bubblegumIs popping, is poppingIs popping she ain't frontingAnd uhI be loving itI be I be loving it and uhI be using it I be I be using it and uhI be rubbing it I be I be rubbing it on my lipsMy lips my lip gloss
[Hook]
[ www.LyricsTop.com ]

men rule

At last> a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story.> (I must admit, it's pretty good.)> We always hear "the rules"> From the female side.> Now here are the rules from the male side.> These are our rules!> Please note.. these are all> numbered "1"> ON PURPOSE!> 1. Men ARE not mind readers.> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.> We need it up, you need it down.> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.> > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon> or the changing of the tides.> Let it be.> > 1.> Shopping is NOT a sport.> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.> > 1. Crying is> blackmail.> > 1. Ask for what you want.> Let us be clear on this one:> Subtle hints do not work!> Strong hints do not work!> Obvious hints do not work!> Just say it!> > color=red size=7>> 1. Yes and No are> perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.> > 1. Come to us> with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a color=red size=7> problem. See a doctor.> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret> girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.> Don't ask us.> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted> two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one> > 1. You can either ask us to do> something> Or tell us how you want it done.> Not both.> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.> > 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.> > 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows> default settings.> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.> > 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.> We do> that.> > 1. If we ask what is> wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,> or golf.> > 1. You have enough clothes.> > 1. You have too many> shoes.> > 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!> > 1. Thank you for reading this.> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.>

scorpio ppl's year according to astrology

~~~all about scurp~~~
OVERVIEW: With overflowing passion in all areas of life, you enjoy sharing, learning and developing your wonderful communication skills. Your ability to offer compassion and emotional sensitivity will help you connect to others, indirectly benefiting your home and career. You strive to get to the roots of issues, and develop intelligent and direct conversations. As you have a strong awareness of your own philosophical and spiritual inner world, you benefit greatly from private exploration of these concepts.
Being a more introspective, and focusing more on alone time instead of the outer world, will help you gather in some of your passionate energy and recharge your inner needs. You will become more interested in visionary ideas, and this will help you to use your latent creativity. Your desire for security is strongly connected with quality material possessions, and how much money you have. Your earning ability will dramatically increase, which will provide for enough left over both to enjoy life and put aside savings.
Your dreams of creating a perfect home sanctuary will come true. Many of your deep desires to make changes in your outer world will draw the attention of others. Your abundant optimism will attract great benefits and resources. You could spend time creating visions for large groups of people and helping them achieve their highest dreams. This will create a new sense of self-worth in them, and in you as well. Your optimism in your love partnership could lead to interesting and exotic travel plans. You love the feeling aliveness and vibrancy travel and spontaneity bring to your life.
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CAREER: You are strongly determined to succeed and to complete your creative projects. Inner desires will serve both your career and your higher visions in life. Your responsibility, this year, is to find a profession that utilizes and lines up with your own personal ideals. You feel very fortunate that you have a job, and it will be very important that you get both recognition and be allowed to express your passion and interests. You are motivated to start new projects and keep your job lively and interesting. You're not afraid of hard work when you know that you have an important goal to fulfill.
Direct your energies towards understanding and learning from experiences of those from different walks of life than yours. It will be important for you to be conscious of being more of a team player, while working any through problems that may arise. Get a good grip on things before acting and be aware to not want to jump to conclusions. Others count on your deep insight, clarity and awareness of what's going on, as well as your ability to be able to communicate clearly. You have a natural talent to see other points of view, and don't miss a beat when it comes to expressing yourself. You have the great talent of a dramatic actor, which you could no doubt use to great effect when you want to get your way. Your performances will make you an asset in social situations this year.
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LOVE: You will enjoy the classic romance of moonlight walks and candlelit dinners with your partner, this year. Having a committed relationship also filled with love and passion is one of your primary desires, and fulfills your emotional and erotic nature. You like the idea of having family and children. Take advantage of your desires to settle down and freely give of yourself to others. Home is very important, and you thrive on a need to have inner peace and family security.
Your intuition and idealism in your approach to love makes you feel quite attracted and excited about nurturing all the energy you are feeling. Love comes easily to you, this year, through charm and finesse. You can be in tune with your partner more than they can ever realize. You may also know things that he or she may not want to be revealed to you because of your tremendous psychic abilities, and strong instincts for distinguishing truth from fiction. For you to feel loved, nurtured and passionately cared for is a must.
You will become quite moody if others aren't sensitive to your deeper needs. At times you may feel hurt by your partner, and may go deep within and find a creative and spiritual resource instead of immediately lashing out. This will help you process your emotions until you can communicate exactly what you need to. Your deep emotions will require that you are understood: you know what you want and what is important to you. You will require others to understand you before you care to share with them your most intimate secrets.